I’ve been doing much better these days. However, a few things still bother me.
My relationship with my mother still bothers me. Things aren’t really great with us and I wish we had a better relationship. Most sons and daughters have a good supportive relationship with their moms, I kinda wish I had that too. Most times, I don’t even want to be around my mom because she’s selfish. I guess all in all it’s her loss and she’ll regret it later on, especially because I’ve tried to repair our relationship.
My mom and my aunt are up my ass about talking to my dad. My mom saw him the other day and I told my aunt what happened. Both of them say that I should just suck it up and go back but I don’t want to and I’m not going to without my criteria being met. This whole thing with my dad still bothers me but I’m trying not to thing about it and continue with my life.
I’ve realized that I’m lonely. I’m an only child. I’m single. My parents are iffy and it’s really just me. If you know what I mean, you’ll get it. Anyways, I just have to be happy and do the things that make me happy. I’ll find my dream boy that will love me unconditionally and give me everything I need. My parents will eventually realize their mistakes and will want to make things better. I will make my dreams come true and have everyone ( my grandparents especially) being really proud that I’ve done what I’ve always needed to despite all the shit that has happened to me.
I was sitting in a church pew today and I realized that god works in mysterious ways. God always has a plan and it might not be apparent to you at the time but eventually it will all make sense.